I am a 40+ something an happily married women but before I met my boyfriend now husband (about 8 years ago) I was obviously , like pretty much everybody else or at least like all my friends were, on those online dating web sites. Back then I was living in London and it was a nice way to obviously meet people. Past forward many moons ago I went on many , many dates. And well I seen it all. Don't take me wrong I also had my share of lovely dates where i met nice and interesting people few of them I had short relationship with but lets be honest the one we want to talk about are the bad one really. and its often the one you remember more. I though I would share my bad experiences.
The one that do not show up.Well...I had rather few of them that never show up even so minutes before I was to meet them at a pub or else , I will most likely received a text telling me they were minutes walk away from the 'meeting place'. and then you find yourself sitting at that 'place' with a red wine glass in one hand and your phone on the other hand wondering why 45 minutes later you are still sitting there alone waiting and that your date no longer give sign of being alive. I had probably 4 or 5 of those 'ghost first date' where my date never show up. I always wondered if its because they saw me and just decided I was not worth or they never meant to meet me but pretend they were. Either way they were probably not worth meeting anyway but it 's upsetting to feel rejected by someone you physically never met and literally waisted your time.
The one that already planned your life.This was one date was probably my worst date and scariest date ever. We decided to met in a pub near Picadilly Circus in London. so far nothing abnormal but minutes after I sat with him at a pub table I already felt something wasn't right with him.I was already planning to make polite excuse such as: 'sorry i don't think this is going to work out but it was nice meeting you' etc. But things escalated pretty quickly and before I knew it within minutes he tried to embrace me and kiss me. Obviously I refused to be kissed telling him this was out of order and i was physically trying to push him physically away from his strong embrace. while dealing with him being very forceful. I find out that he was divorced, he had two very young kids and he was looking for a mother figure for his two sons and that if I wanted to move in with him he could arrange this pretty quickly. You must thing I am telling you lies but in all honestly in less than an hour (yes literally!) I was to become the mother figure of his kids. I felt sick and clearly told him he was mad and this was to never happen so I suddenly left, as I was leaving he tried to grab me outside the pub door and started insulting me you know things such as I was a sl*t and so on! One man was having a drink outside by the pub door and seeing all this he asked him to let me go, my 'date' released me and he started having an argument with that other guy while I literally ran for the tube. While I was running he came running after me few seconds later but he soon stopped chasing me when he realised it was a busy street and he would have get him into trouble.As soon as I came back home ,in tears obviously, I reported him to the dating site and blocked him.
The one that suddenly leave.I once met that French guy online ( I am French too) and we decided after many emailed and text exchanged to meet in a busy bar on a Saturday night in Soho London.I remembered being very excited meeting him as we seems to have a lot in common and enjoying 'talking' a lot via emails and text messages. This date took a turned that I did not expected in a matter of minutes. A soon as we met I realised he was very cold with me which was probably a warning sign. We straight away went to the bar to order a drink and while the bar tender was purring our drinks he told me something like ' it would not work out ' and he literally left without even saying sorry or pay for his drink. From the minute we met to the minute he left it took about 5 minutes.In 5 minutes or so this guy realised I was not worth. I felt awful. I found myself with 2 drinks that I end up not drinking. Because I am a very sensitive person and when I get rejected so quickly I don't really feel the mood on drinking 2 glasses by myself in a busy Soho bar. So I left the premise alcohol free.At the time I did though perhaps he had a girlfriend and he felt guilty on meting me? Or perhaps he was just another jerk? Either way whatever the reason it was not cool to be treated the way he did whatever the reason. I never heard back from him.
The one that only talk about himself.Oh yes ! I met rather a few of those that are self obsessed by themselves those dates were just me listening to someone bragging about their amazing career ,life, money, mates etc. and not any point he would ask me a single question. Usually I would stay like 1 hour and then make excuse. Those were always the very boring date, I would know everything about that person but they won't even know what I do for a job. Of course I admire people that have pations but as a rule it is nice to have a conservation were its a 50-50 exchange if its only one way...it just won't work for me anyway .
The one that only talk about his ex-girlfriend.I met few guys that fit perfectly into this category. The 'ex-girlfriend can't stop talking about' category. One thing that I know its never speak about your past relationships especially on the 'first date'. But no for those men perhaps they did not get the memo or perhaps they got confused and though I was some kind of free counselor. These dates never last long because I clearly realise those men clearly did not need a new girlfriends they needed the ex one back or sort out their love life by accepting and moving on from their break-up, either way I did not feel like being in the middle of someone else love life. Next !
This is pretty much the worst dates I encountered, but as mentioned earlier I had many other dates were my date was just lovely. If you are in dating scene I would love to hear your though or your worst date or your best date , just tell me all.
A reminder ladies to always make sure to tell a friend or a member of your family when you are off for a 1st date (with location etc.) and always make sure to meet your date in a busy area. Stay safe !
Thanks for reading!
Marie
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